Tiger Wood
Hello chirrens! How is y’all this lovelyful day? No matter if it be hot or cold or snowy or sunny, any day that Granny can git up on Granny own and don’t need nobody for to help Granny make it to the baffroom or wipe slobber off Granny chin, well, that is a good day in Granny book.
Ain’t much of nuffin going on wif Granny, not since that Tiger Wood mess done played out. Whew wee! That was some kinda mess now wun’t it! But this here is what got to Granny. Ain’t it sompfin how all them womens ain’t minded being his side ho but the minute they fount out they wun’t his onliest ho, hammercy, that’s when all of em was hotter than fish grease.
Chirrens, specially yall chirrens that be liking other peepose husmans – let Granny learn yall a thang or two. These mens will lay up wif you til Jesus come back and if yall silly thangs be thanking they is gonna leave they wifes for yall, you got one nother thank coming. Naw they ain’t. Well, Granny take that back. Granny cousin Emma Jean was cheating on her husman wif this man name Walter Lee and he had a wife too. Them two got deevoced and they got hitched up. Lard Jesus, they is the jellusest thangs that Granny ever seent cuz don’t neiver one of em trust the nother one. It don’t matter where Emma Jean be, here Walter Lee gonna come-a-skrolling by. She can’t go nowheres by herself. Not even to church. That fool even showed up at Granny church when Emma Jean came to the church mothers lunch meeting. Wun’t no mens sposed to be there but see here, she go to this other church so when she told Walter Lee she was going to Granny church, he got to thanking she was up to no good. Cuz see back when she was sneaking off wif him she was making up lies to tell her first husman. And she just as nutty cuz she be stalking him too. Granny told her she need to cut that mess out. Them two had a good thang going til they got wif each other.
Here go one nother thang yall needs to know bout messing wif somebody husman. Or wife. If yall womens wanna git you some good scoochie scooch, get it from somebody husman. Granny is just telling yall the truth cuz it be good when it be new and when it be sneaky. How yall thank Granny got mixed up wif them second set of chirrens daddy wif his no good butt? Granny was too busy sneaking and and creeping but ain’t spunt no time checking him out. So it was all good til Granny got him all to Granny self and that is when the real him camed out! Cuz see chirrens, listen at Granny. New don’t stay new. And sneaky don’t stay sneaky cuz y’all seent how Tiger Wood wun’t tryna keep nunna them tramps.
And what the devil was Tiger Wood doing wif all them womens? Well Granny know what he was doing wif all them womens – hahahaha yes Granny do cuz Granny rememorance ain’t quit working – but Jeeeeesus, that there is whole lotsa womens to be juggling. His wife is a good one too cuz his nasty butt woulda had to stay gone. Wif all that poking he was doing in any and everbody scoochie coo, he was liable to brang sompfin home to her that Ajax can’t git rid of. That white gal he got, she ain’t no joke eiver. Whew Lard! Did yall see on TV how she tooked off after him wif that goff stick tryna knock the fool outta him? And do yall mermember that time when Tiger Wood was talking bout he ain’t black. Well that gal he got sho can cut up like she camed skraight out the projecks, huh!
Well chirrens, it’s bout that time. Prayer time that is. Yall better be glad to have a prayer warrior like Granny calling yall name in prayer and axing Jesus to keep a fench all a round yall. Cuz chirrens, wif all this craziness going on in the world, the onliest thang that can help yall is prayer. And that is just when Granny is fixna do – soon as Steve Wilcox and the babydaddy show go off. Be sweet chirrens and stay wif the Lard cuz can’t nobody do yall like Jesus. And don’t let nuffin and nobody git in the way of the Lard!
|
