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Everybody Loves Granny!

These Is The End Times
Hello there sweet chirrens. This here is Granny. Granny is a hopin and a prayin that all yall is doing good and keepin yall hands in the master hand. Cuz the safest place to be in the hole wide world is in the master will, specially wif all these wars and rumers of wars. Can't nobody tell Granny these ain't the end times!

Well sweet chirrens, Granny need yall to say a frew words in prayer for Granny knees. Both of em is hurtin real bad cuz Granny bend on them knees praying for the china peoples in Japan. Have yall seent all that mess from the erfquak and tasami? Have mercy Jesus. That what happened over there is turble, specially wif all them peoples that ainít got nowheres to go. The old peoples is the ones that break Granny heart cuz old peoples like to be in they own house and it donít matter if they is white old peoples, colored old peoples, injun old peoples, meskin old peoples or china old peoples like all them old po thangs in Japan. They is all piled up on top of each other in them make shiff shelters. Whew Jesus, but leastways they got out wif they lifes, huh. Peoples got it bad here too but leastways we got some water and heat. And even the peoples that git put out they houses ainít that bad off cuz they can go stay in a shelter wif hot water and heat. Itís a blessing to be in the New Nited States of The Merica. Granny donít care what nobody say cuz Granny wunít wanna live no wheres else butcept for wif Jesus. But even that is gonna have to wait cuz Granny is prepared to go but Granny ainít nowheres near ready to go. Chirrens, what Granny noticed bout them china peoples is this here. Them is some hard working peoples cuz wif all that mess going on in Japan, them china peoples done had they nail shop open ever day. Lease the one down the skreet from Granny bend open. They be makin they money, huh.

Ever time Granny warch the news it make Granny wanna stop and tell the Lard thank ya cuz he shoí nuff done brunged Granny from a mighty mighty long ways. Granny coulda bend dead, sleeping in Granny grave, but the Lard seent fit to keep Granny in the land of the living one more day. The Lard have blessed Granny wif a potion of helf and strenf and thatís why come Granny got a made up mine to go all the way wif Jesus. Granny donít need to go back and froth to the doctor not unlessun Granny just wanna go git some more of them pills. Whew wee, they shoí do make Granny feel good too. Might near good as the holy ghost. But Granny gotta go in there and play crazy to git them pills tho cuz thatís the onliest way the doctor write up a fruscription to peepose. They shoí is good pills too. One while Granny got off of em cuz Granny dinít like to be round them peoples in the pill doctor office. Yall oughta see em. They look like a buncha drug addicks. All of em do. Thank you Jesus that Granny ainít like them! Gloray to his name. If it was any nother place Granny woulda bend walking the room laying hands on em but Granny knowed it was best to keep one eye on them peoples and one nother eye on Granny pocketbook.

One nother thang bout them pills. They must have a larm clock in em cuz Granny used to sleep til past 9 in the moanin but Granny wake up Ďfore 6 to take one of them pills. When Granny arm git to shakin and goin on, that mean time to wake up and take a pill. And just right now, too bad yall canít see Granny knee. It done went to twitching cuz itís time for Granny to take one more nother one of them pills. Look at it jumpin. Thems is the first pills Granny ever took when Granny donít have to keep a eye on the clock cuz the pills do that for Granny. The doctor said take one pill a day but this twitching done picked up a bit so Granny gotta take two a day for it to settle down. Mother Jefferson was the one who turnt Granny on to Ďem. Her grandson be selling em for $7.

Well sweet chirrens, itís might near Granny prayer time. That is, after Granny take one of them pills to stop this knee from twitching an goin on. After that Granny is gonna spend a lil time wif Jesus and yall need to do the same cuz like Granny said, we's is living in the end times. But first Granny gotta warch the babydaddy show cuz it's a skanky broad coming back on to do two more babydaddy tesses on mens # lebm and # 12. That sho' is nasty aint it. Don't git Granny wrong -- Granny prolley done did 12 mens too, but not in the same munf! So chirrens, yall be sweet and don't forgit to say a prayer for them china peoples in Japan and please pray that the Lard delay his coming til after this babydaddy show go off cuz it's a goodie for real! Bye-bye sweet chirrens! Stay wif the Lard! Granny love yall!
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